I've always loved books, when I discovered blank ones I found the first canvases onto which I could paint. The first time I spilled pieces of my soul onto blank pages I ended up burning it all, but from the ashes rose a love for writing. I discovered that words spilled out of me like ink from a pen, or blood from a wound. Like musical notes from an instrument, or paint from a brush. Suddenly the world was full of blank canvases... cardboard scraps, napkins, candy wrappers, take out boxes, receipts, flyers, paper towels, junk mail, and the list could go on forever. All of these things I have scribbled thoughts onto over the years in a desperate attempt to capture the words that frame the pictures I see at that very moment in time. I quickly found out that having all of these papers contained in a book is much easier to go back to than attempting to collect them all from my car or piece them together later. The random scraps of things I've found writing on over the years is hilarious & amusing!
There has always been a fascination of books within me. The covers so unique, the pages so crisp or wrinkled or needing lotion! I've always loved to examine the elements that make a book what it is, not just what it contains inside. My first journals are silly to me now, but they inspired me to begin a search for the perfect journal. The covers of course are the first thing you notice, and I've owned everything from cardboard to hand tooled leather. The covers I like are ones that inspire me to pick it up, or that I like the feel of. The material begging to be held in my hands or the images drawing me into its blank pools. When it comes to pages, I'm about as picky as I am on the covers. It can't have designs or lines on them if it makes me feel boxed in or contained in any manner. I want the freedom to sketch, draw, write, doodle, or do whatever I want. I don't like anything to hinder that in a page.
Picking a journal has evolved into quite a journey for me over the course of my life. I used to snatch up any 'ol discounted cheap thing I could find and then unleash ink onto its blank pages until it was filled. The more books I devoured, the more I discovered the things I liked or didn't like. I decided to start making my own journals about 15 years ago because I could make exactly what I wanted. I could choose any size I wanted, any paper I desired, and design the covers however I was inspired to. It opened up a whole new world to me in writing, as well as in my journals themselves.
I became as enthralled with making my own books as I was with filling them. Somehow over the course of time, making them became as much of an art to me as writing or painting. I sometimes would have to force myself to fill one book with writing, before I made another. So I would put my head down and spend long hours at the park or along the river writing my heart out until my hands cramped and I grew more callouses on my fingers than I thought possible. I filled many books like this but whenever I would make a book, it was almost addicting, like I wanted to make another, and another and so on. I decided at that point that I needed different books for different things. One book as a daily journal, another for notes, another for sketching & drawing, another for lists... you can see how I easily found a way to allow myself to make many books at a time instead of just one.
Then I decided to help other people make their own journals, which I totally loved! I did some classes & workshops and had a blast in every one I did! If there is one thing I love more than writing or painting, it's helping other people create! It gave me a way to encourage people~ not only to write, but to write in something they made themselves! I had a friend suggest I should get my own binding machine during this time. The thought of that was so exciting to me, but I couldn't afford one quite yet. It became a tiny seed planted in my mind though, and for years after that I would think of buying one or getting my own some day.
I think writing & creating come & go in our lives sometimes like seasons do in nature. I went through a long, dark, winter after that. The kind of winter where you wonder if spring will ever come. You think the branches are not just barren, they are straight up dead! I went from filling journal after journal to barely being able to write. I'd been filling 3-4 journals a year and then suddenly I could barely even write but maybe 3-4 times throughout the year. It was a strange shift, but seasons often are. The cold of winter makes us long for the sun, thinking we don't even remember what the warmth of it's rays feels like. The turn of the leaves are so pretty and full of color in the fall, but then the empty branches lose our wonder after a long enough spell of being barren. I spent quite a few years in the dead of winter. Although life & creativity have begun to sprout up from the ground again, I think there's still some distance for me to go before I'm out of this winter. But that's ok, because all the seasons are important, and each one of them lends growth to the next. If it's been a particularly long winter, that only means I have an amazing spring & summer to look forward to, right?
Sometimes we have to force ourselves to do something. To push ourselves out from the shelter we find cover in and out into the places we want to be in. I've had to do this a lot with my writing & painting the last few years. Sometimes, we are just left with nothing. I wrote that over & over for quite awhile attempting to write or create again. We can choose to take that nothing though, and turn it into something else! That is what I am fighting for now. Creating is a life force to me. It is the driving force behind my happiness and well being. It is the shelter of sanity that I find in a world that seems pretty insane most of the time! It doesn't matter what I create or if it is ends up being anything at all. It's more important that I do it! It's more important that I pull the threads of creativity out of myself & weave them into something. Anything. Whatever tapestry or painting or poem they are to be in that day, that hour, or in that moment. We have to fight for it sometimes, but it is rewarding as any victory in battle ever is. I can attempt to place words on those things forever probably. But then, this would become my journal & not my story! So I will get back to it...
When I seriously considered making my own books to sell, I had several ideas and plans for the designs. My ideas were endless and my inspiration constantly bubbled up with something else. As much as I wanted to make books the way I would for myself, I knew that I could never make any kind of profit for the long hours I spent on each one. In my other artwork and creative adventures I have a love for old things. Things from the past that hold special memories, or things that are no longer useful, but SO cool! I love giving new life to old things! I think there is something in that act that parallels life itself. There is always something new to be found in the old. There is always life to be found in hidden places & forgotten things. The whole recycling thing is cool too, but I find more inspiration in making something new out of something discarded. It inspires me on many levels, and I think adds more charm to things than fresh new materials.
I originally wanted to make journals out of old books but found so many people doing that by the time I got my machine and got rolling on production. So, I searched for something different. Something unique. Something that had been discarded. Something that needed new life breathed into it. I've always loved records. I've made all sorts of things out of ruined, discarded or unwanted ones. My favorite thing to make out of them was mobiles, with all kinds of treasures dangling from their shiny plastic. I thought about making the vinyl into covers for books, and attempted to make some books using them but found it to be problematic with my equipment. I also have a heart to not destroy things from their original state, so I would've only wanted to use damaged ones or ones that would not be used or played again. After several trial & errors I started thinking my brilliant idea of vinyl records for covers on books was not so brilliant after all.
One evening I sat completely frustrated in my studio after failing to be successful with the vinyl records. I started looking at the album covers and they made me laugh & smile so much it pushed me out of my funk. The art was so amazing, or the words so funny! The covers were so amusing that I ended up sitting there going through them forever. They were hilarious, tragic, nostalgic, amusing, astounding, creative, impressive, provocative, whimsy, and downright awesome!!! I sat there cracking myself up over the goofiest things, and was full of appreciation and love for the "old" in them all. It took me awhile to realize I had found the covers I was looking for. When it struck me, it was so perfect!! I didn't even know half of the bands or singers I was looking at, but the art was good (or awesomely bad), the pictures amusing, the words hilarious, and they were in definite need of some new life & appreciation!! I was so excited!!
Using old record album covers encompasses so many things I am passionate about! It gives a new purpose to something that should've never lost its limelight! It brings back memories and feelings of the "good 'ol days" for people. It recycles something that has seen better days. Maybe the band wasn't very popular, or its outdated, or just discarded with the rest of the amazing vinyl when the modern world moved towards technology leaving so many things in its path. Making books out of these covers makes me feel like I'm helping to give back to the original artists, bringing their talents to the forefront again instead of getting lost in the shadows. It's also really fun to give people a walk down memory lane! I can't count the smiles I get, or the stories I hear. They're amazing!!
Using old record album covers to make journals & books out of them is fun & rewarding! I think it's fun to have old funky ones that people nowadays might not even know the music, but the words are funny, or the pictures & art something to truly be appreciated! They make great party guest books, or something fun to throw on the coffee table for guests to doodle in or sign when they visit. I plan on putting music sheet paper in them sometime soon so they can be used as songwriting journals. Recycling the covers allow the actual album to still be salvaged for listening to if that's desired. I like that because I'm not taking away from something that could be enjoyed in its original state. My favorite thing about it though, is the look on people's faces! The joy it brings, the memories they inspire, the stories they stir back up.... these things are priceless to see!!! I particularly like custom orders, to be able to give someone something new from a cherished memory is really fun! Or a great gift for a joke to a friend, that's fun too!
The plans I set out to do in my design of handmade books has taken many turns and paths along the way. I'm still discovering new things, adding fresh ideas, and finding old things that can use new life breathed into them. I plan to continue doing that too! I have many years of experience making my own books, but I find myself on a journey that is new and always changing. It leaves me excited and constantly wondering.... what will be around the next bend in the path? Or what is next?
